Celebrating My Child's Life!

For some of us it is the slowest part of the healing journey.

I buy Elizabeth a red rose every year on her birthday, Feb. 9

The year after I completed Project Rachel, I celebrated Elizabeth's 30th birthday by inviting 3 of the other Project Rachel women to my home for a birthday cake and coffee. The girls even brought presents! It was so exciting. The best part was when one of the women said she could hear Elizabeth say 'it's about time mom.' It was so healing to be able to experience such an important moment with others who had shared my deep pain and suffering.

While attending Project Rachel, I had learned about The Shrine of the Holy Innocents*. I sent in the information on Elizabeth and it was a very heart-felt moment when I received the certificate in the mail with Mary Elizabeth's full name on it.

I had also included my name and her father's last name. I felt it important that he should be acknowledged as well. It was like we were a family.

Elizabeth's Mom (her abortion was in 1972)

During the Project Rachel's
support group sessions each woman has the opportunity to write a letter to her baby.

Every Christmas, my husband, my two sons and I have a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner, before going to church. The first Christmas after my healing, I felt a desire to light a candle and place it on the table while we celebrated the season in Ashley's honor. I light that candle throughout the Christmas season until the New Year. It is the time of year when family is together and when lighting that candle is like she is with us.

I visit the healing garden regularly, praying for her and talking to her. My first few conversations with her were all about my guilt in what I had done to her. Now I tell her how much I love her and talk about what is going on in my life. I pray for her always and ask God to watch over her.

This year (2004) on what would have been her birthday, July 15, I will place a flower near the rock I painted for her. This will be an exciting time for me, as it will be the first time I have felt strong enough to go and celebrate this with my daughter Ashley Victoria. She is now a part of my life, a part of my spirit in a healthy way. A way God has intended for me to have.

Ashley Victoria's Mom (her abortion was in 1989)

Each of the Project Rachel facilitators
has had the special privilege of becoming
a Godparent for one of the babies.
We write a letter to the Mom and give her a birthstone angel in memory of when her baby became an 'angel' in heaven.

In a special place in my home, there is a picture of the rock garden celebrating my unborn child. Candles, holy water and prayer cards surround this picture. When I feel a strong need to connect with Christian, I light the candles, play some inspirational music and talk to him.

I have often lit candles in churches for Christian and thanked God that he is safe in the arms of Mother Mary and Jesus.

Christian's Mom (her abortion was in 1976)

Project Rachel has established a healing rock garden. Each summer we paint the names of our babies on rocks and place them, along with new plants, in the garden. We have a prayer service in honor of our dearly loved children.

Let the little children come to me.

Luke 18:16

Some of our Project Rachel women have taken the opportunity to write to this shrine and receive a document with their baby':s name on it.

The Shrine of the Holy Innocents
128 W 37th St. New York, NY 10018
Phone: 212-279-5861
Email: shrine@innocents.com