I Am Forgiven!
God's Forgiveness, once received, covers it all!

I want to thank you and the rest of the Project Rachel women for giving me back my life. It's been a whole year since we last spoke, but I wanted you to know that not a day goes by when I don't think of you and the way in which you changed my life.

I was a broken, confused and scared girl that first night, and today, only a year later, my life is so rich! My precious little baby girl was born in October 2004. I would love to share the message of peace and forgiveness that I have received with all of the Project Rachel women. During the support group sessions I attended, one of the facilitators, a forgiven and healed Project Rachel woman herself, told us not to listen to the devil on your shoulder when the doubts of God's true forgiveness creep into your mind. Her message has meant so much to me. She was so right! Those words have helped me many times to flick the devil off my shoulder! God Bless.

Charles Christopher's Mom
(Her abortion was in 1997.)

I remained silent about my abortion for over twenty years and did not talk to God about it even after my Spiritual Awakening. During that time I suffered with overwhelming quilt, shame and self-hatred. Shame and guilt is something that is positive when it motivates a change in behavior or making amends. The shame and guilt I felt was destroying my self esteem and increasing the depressions that I experienced.

My Christian beliefs gave me `some' relief as I knew somehow, sometimes that God had forgiven me for taking a life. This belief was pretty shaky especially when I was depressed and feeling hopeless. What also stood in the way of spiritual healing was my inability to forgive myself. I would question myself over and over - How could God forgive me for what I had done? How can I ever forgive myself?

Eventually, my nursing knowledge helped me see my abortion as a traumatic experience and the more I learned the more I was able to talk to other women about my abortion. One such close friend led me to Project Rachel. It was this program that gave me the Spiritual Healing I so desperately needed. Connecting with other women who had experienced abortion, going through the recovery steps and communion with God helped me to shed the pathological guilt I felt so that once again I can hold my head high. Now, I know I am forgiven by God and I have finally forgiven myself.

Christian's Mom
(Her abortion was in 1976.)

I tried for years to forgive myself but it never seemed to work. I would forgive myself a bit and knew that God forgave me but I couldn't totally forgive myself. Even with a lot of therapy, I could not totally forgive myself.

It wasn't until I went through Project Rachel that I really began to heal especially spiritually. Through this process I felt even more that God forgave me. It was such a huge weight off my shoulders after 30 years. I still regret my decision and still wish I could change things, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do to change it. Thankfully, with God's help and the wonderful women of Project Rachel, at least I don't beat myself up anymore for my decision.

I really realized how much I had healed when I went to a Nova Scotians United for Life meeting. I looked at all the pamphlets that would have devastated me years ago, and I realized how far I had come and how thankful I was for the healing.

Who did I need to forgive?? I needed to forgive God for putting me in that situation (or part of me thought that). It took a long time to forgive God. At times I blamed the GP I had back then. I blamed my boyfriend as well. When Dad died in 1996, my former boyfriend called me and we talked about the abortion for the first time since it happened in 1972. That was very healing. I have probably forgiven him about 90% since then, but unfortunately I think there is still a bit of forgiveness left to be given.

I also blamed my father big time. If he hadn't threatened me all the time by saying that if I ever got pregnant he'd break my neck maybe I would have had Elizabeth. When he died in 1996 I told him I forgave him for almost everything. The one thing I did not tell him was that I couldn't quite forgive him about my abortion. He never knew about it. I often wish that I had told him because I think I might have healed sooner. I believe Dad knows about it now and feels very sad about it. He wouldn't have wanted me to suffer like I did all these years.

I have forgiven my father quite a bit (90%) and of course Project Rachel helped with this. But in all honesty, I think there just might be a little part of me that is still holding back. However I know with God's help and the prayers of so many people that will change.

Elizabeth's Mom
(Her abortion was in 1972.)

The only person I felt I needed to forgive was myself. There were people's opinions and comments that contributed to my decision, but it was still my decision. I took 13 years to have the courage to open myself to God and accept his forgiveness. Through Project Rachel I dealt with my anger, shame and my hurts, but forgiveness took longer to deal with. I thought God would never forgive me for such a sin and I was not worthy of joy and peace. And I certainly did not want to forgive myself.

So, I prayed one night for God to forgive me and I opened my heart to receive it and, through that same prayer, I felt at peace and He gave me the strength to forgive myself. I realized, after I was healed, He always did forgive me that is why He gave His life for me. I just would not receive it, and I couldn't go on like that any longer.

God is 100% love, mercy and compassion. He never was or will be anything less than that.

Ashley Victoria's Mom.
(Her abortion was in 1989.)